Can a Teenage Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Florida?
When parents go through a divorce or separation, few topics create more emotional stress than deciding where a child will live. One of the most common questions family law attorneys receive, especially when the child is a teenager, is:
“Can my child decide which parent they want to live with?”
According to Gary S. Dolgin, Board Certified Expert in Marital and Family Law with over 35 years of experience, the short answer is no. However, a child’s preference can play a role in a judge’s decision, depending on their age, maturity, and specific circumstances.
Understanding how Florida courts evaluate this issue can help parents approach custody, or “time-sharing,” as Florida law calls it, with realistic expectations and confidence.
Understanding Florida’s Time-Sharing Law
In Florida, the term “child custody” has been replaced with time-sharing and parental responsibility under Florida Statute §61.13. This statute outlines how parenting plans are created, how time with the child is divided, and and whether both parents will jointly make decisions about education, health care, and other major decisions regarding the child, or if one parent will be granted ultimate decision-making authority over the child’s life.
The goal is always to serve the best interests of the child, not necessarily the preferences of the parents, or even the child alone.
The “Best Interests of the Child” Standard
When determining time-sharing and parental responsibility, Florida courts are guided by what’s known as the “best interests of the child” standard.
Florida Statute §61.13(3) lists 20 specific factors that judges must consider before making any custody or time-sharing determination. These factors include everything from the parents’ ability to meet the child’s needs, to each parent’s moral fitness, mental health, and the stability of the home environment.
Here are some of the most important factors that frequently come into play:
– The ability of each parent to encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship.
– The anticipated division of parental responsibilities after the litigation.
– The moral fitness, mental health, and physical health of each parent.
– The home, school, and community record of the child.
– The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
– Evidence of domestic violence, sexual violence, abuse, or neglect.
– The ability of each parent to provide a consistent routine, including discipline, meals, and homework.
– The length of time the child has lived in a stable environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
– The capacity of each parent to communicate with the other parent and participate in major decisions affecting the child’s welfare.
This list helps make the judge’s decision a holistic assessment of the child’s entire life situation, rather than just one or two factors.
Where a Child’s Preference Fits In
The factor regarding a child’s reasonable preference is often misunderstood.
Many parents assume that once a child reaches a certain age, such as 13, 15, or 17 they can simply “choose” where to live. Florida law does not establish any specific age at which a child can make that decision.
Instead, the judge has discretion to decide whether a child is mature enough to express a meaningful preference and how much “weight” to give that opinion.
“A child’s preference can be taken into account if they are of sufficient maturity,” explains Attorney Gary Dolgin. “However, we never want to put a child in the position of making that decision. A judge can give whatever weight they feel is appropriate to the child’s preference, taking that into account with the other 19 factors.”
Why Judges Avoid Letting Children Decide
While a child’s opinion matters, judges and family law professionals are cautious about giving children too much responsibility in these decisions.
As Mr. Dolgin notes, no child should ever be put in the position of choosing between parents. Doing so can create long-term emotional stress and guilt, even if the child’s preference seems clear.
Judges also understand that children can be easily influenced by short-term factors, such as which parent is more lenient, offers more freedom, or buys them more gifts. For that reason, the court looks beyond surface-level preferences and focuses on what environment will best support the child’s growth and stability.
How a Judge Evaluates a Teenager’s Preference
If a judge decides to consider the child’s wishes, the process is handled with sensitivity and discretion. Typically, the child will not testify in open court. Instead, the judge may:
1. Speak privately with the child in chambers (without the parents present) to understand their feelings, however, many judges are reluctant to interview a child and prefer to rely on the recommendation of a psychologist or guardian ad litem.
2. Rely on a guardian ad litem — a neutral advocate appointed to represent the child’s best interests.
3. Consider psychological evaluations or school counselor input to gauge maturity and emotional stability.
The judge will then weigh the child’s opinion alongside all other statutory factors before determining a parenting plan.
In some cases, a mature teenager’s consistent, well-reasoned preference may carry significant weight. In others, the court may give it little consideration if it appears the child’s choice is influenced by manipulation or temporary emotions.
Each case is unique — which is why having an experienced, Board Certified attorney is crucial to present these factors effectively.
The Role of a Board Certified Family Law Attorney
When navigating issues of custody, time-sharing, and child preference, it’s vital to have legal guidance from someone who is not only experienced but also Board Certified in Marital and Family Law.
Gary S. Dolgin is one of only 274 attorneys in the entire State of Florida with this distinction. Board Certification is the highest level of recognition given by The Florida Bar, reserved for attorneys who have demonstrated exceptional competence, ethics, and professionalism in their field.
With over three decades of experience in family law, Mr. Dolgin has helped countless families in the Tampa Bay area navigate complex time-sharing and custody matters with compassion and expertise.
The Importance of Proper Legal Guidance
Because time-sharing decisions are highly fact-specific, it’s risky for parents to rely on hearsay, internet information, or assumptions about what a judge “usually does.”
An attorney like Gary Dolgin can:
– Help you understand how the 20 statutory factors apply to your unique case.
– Prepare evidence showing your ability to meet your child’s best interests.
– Ensure that your child’s voice is heard appropriately — without causing emotional harm.
– Negotiate fair parenting plans that reduce conflict and protect your child’s emotional well-being.
The goal is always to create a stable, loving environment where the child can thrive, while respecting both parents’ roles in the child’s life.
Protecting Children from Conflict
Family law judges, guardians, and attorneys all share one guiding principle: children should be shielded from adult conflict.
Encouraging a child to “choose sides” can create deep emotional scars and complicate the healing process after divorce. Instead, parents are encouraged to:
– Keep conversations about custody between adults.
– Reassure children that both parents love them.
– Avoid making negative comments about the other parent in the child’s presence.
– Focus on consistency, love, and communication.
As Mr. Dolgin emphasizes, “We never want to put a child in the position of making that decision.”
A judge’s role — and your attorney’s — is to ensure the child’s well-being remains the top priority.
What Happens If Parents Can’t Agree on Time-Sharing
If parents cannot agree on a parenting plan, the court will create one based on the evidence presented. The judge may order mediation, psychological evaluations, or the appointment of a guardian ad litem to assess family dynamics.
The court will then issue a Parenting Plan, which defines:
1. The time each parent spends with the child (time-sharing schedule).
2. Decision-making authority for major issues like education, health, and extracurriculars.
3. Communication expectations between parents.
This Parenting Plan becomes legally binding — and modifying it later requires showing a substantial change in circumstances and that the change is in the child’s best interests.
Frequently Asked Questions
Question: Can a teenager choose which parent to live with in Florida?
Answer: No. A teen’s preference may be considered by the court but it is only one of the best-interest factors under Florida Statute 61.13. The judge decides based on all relevant factors, including the child’s maturity and each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs.
Question: At what age will a Florida court consider a child’s preference?
Answer: There is no specific age. Courts look at whether the child is sufficiently mature to express a well-reasoned preference. Older teens often receive more weight, but maturity—not age alone—controls.
Question: How does a judge hear a child’s preference?
Answer: Judges may rely on testimony from parenting evaluators or, in some cases, speak with the child in camera (privately in chambers) to avoid placing the child in the middle of the dispute.
Question: What other factors affect time-sharing decisions?
Answer: Courts consider many factors, including each parent’s involvement, stability, moral fitness, mental and physical health, co-parenting, the child’s school and community history, and any evidence of domestic violence, among others listed in Florida Statute 61.13.
Question: Should I ask my child to choose a parent?
Answer: Generally no. Courts discourage placing children in the position of choosing. Instead, work with an experienced family-law attorney to present the child’s needs appropriately and build a parenting plan that supports the child’s best interests.
When to Seek Legal Help
If you’re facing a custody or time-sharing dispute in Tampa, it’s important to seek legal advice early. Even if you and your co-parent have an amicable relationship, the process involves strict statutory requirements and detailed documentation.
A consultation with an experienced attorney like Gary S. Dolgin can help you understand your rights under Florida law, avoid common mistakes that could hurt your case, and help you develop a strategy that prioritizes your child’s needs while protecting your parental rights.
About The Law Offices of Gary S. Dolgin
Located in Tampa, Florida, The Law Offices of Gary S. Dolgin focuses exclusively on Marital and Family Law, including:
– Divorce and equitable distribution
– Child custody and time-sharing disputes
– Alimony and support modifications
– Paternity and parental responsibility matters
With a reputation built on trust, integrity, and compassion, Gary Dolgin and his team treat every client like family — guiding them through some of life’s most difficult transitions with professionalism and care.
If you have questions about time-sharing, parental responsibility, or child custody laws in Florida, we’re here to help.
To schedule a consultation with Gary S. Dolgin, Attorney At Law, call (813) 999-2772 and it will be our pleasure to help you.